The Da Vinci Code'The book is such a wild yarn that it's undeniably fun, and the film version is even better because we got the great story without Dan Brown's pedestrian prose. And as a bonus, an over-the-top Ian McKellen stole scenes left and right.
Poseidon'It's as bad as they said. Worse. Even doe-eyed Emmy Rossum and Richard Dreyfuss as a sad-sack gay man couldn't salvage this shipwreck.
The Devil Wears Prada'The audiences were gayer than Brokeback's, and this flick had way better outfit changes! Meryl Streep for president!
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest'The runaway success story of the summer, this one was longer and not as much fun, but, hey, a fey Johnny Depp in eyeliner is always welcome.
X-Men: The Last Stand'The first movie in the franchise to disappoint, The Last Stand was bloated and all over the place. And there was no Alan Cumming and very little Anna Paquin. We want Rogue!
The Descent'Six chicks go spelunking in the Appalachians and get attacked by underground dwellers. Sound like a typical monster-slasher flick? Think again. This is so realistic the suspense stopped our hearts, and is so terrifying we left the theater shaking. Don't say we didn't warn you!
Strangers with Candy'Ninety minutes of raunchy, puerile humor may have been a bit much for some viewers, but this big-screen adaptation of the cracked Comedy Central series allowed us to relive the horrors of adolescence'name-calling, disastrous drug experiences, and pointless group projects'all from a safe distance. Stephen Colbert played a deluded, sexually confused science teacher, while Amy Sedaris's portrayal of loutish ex-hooker, ex-junkie, ex-con Jerri Blank reminded us of why we love her so much.
Snakes On a Plane'Though it sorta flopped (its straightforward title alone garnered wisecracks), Snakes On a Plane is destined to become a cult classic. This absurd nail-biter has it all: pissed-off venomous serpents, a swishy flight attendant, a wimpy dog named Mary-Kate, and'our personal favorite'a high heel that actually kills a man. So bad it's good.
Little Miss Sunshine'Basically a TV-movie with quirky stock characters and a minibus, this charming, harmless (yet ultimately forgettable) comedy is elevated by the caliber of the actors (Toni Collette, Greg Kinnear, Steve Carrell'playing gay!'Alan Arkin, L.I.E.'s Paul Dano, and Abigail Breslin).
The Omen'It wasn't a bad movie. But it also wasn't good. Just sorta unnecessary. Even Rosemary herself, Mia Farrow, couldn't elevate this to worthwhile status.
Lady in the Water'A complete jumble with director M. Night Shyamalan's ego careening out of control (he has a sizable role as a writer whose book eventually changes the course of human history), this was stupid and lifeless and worse than most straight-to-DVD slasher movies.