1. Let me find out for myself that the guy I'm dating is gay. Maybe he just thinks Manhunt is the new Friendster.
2. We'll never get tired of the game "Which Character From Sex and the City and The Golden Girls Are You?' but if you're a Miranda or a Dorothy, own it. Not everyone can be Carrie and Blanche.
3. I secretly love it when you quote my Lifetime movies and compare seemingly hopeless situations to Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?
4. Skinny jeans should be in my closet, not yours.
5. Stop trying to make us over into your teen boy-toy fantasy. I paid too much money for these tits to cover them up with plaid shirts and rocker tees.
6. Yes, we know Craigslist has more to offer than rental opportunities and bargain furniture.
7. Bite the bullet and buy your own concealer already.
8. Not every hot guy is in the closet! There are actually a few who love pussy.
9. Quit saying you're a top. No one's buying it.
10. We knew you were gay before you did -- and loved you just as much.
Spelling's new film, Kiss the Bride, premieres on Here TV June 6.