Need To Know: Girls


By Tim Murphy

Do you like Morrissey?
I love him. He's an idol to me.'

Are you in love with him?
I have a difficult time being in love with people I don't know. I don't have that kind of celebrity crush, except on Hermione from Harry Potter. She's so smart and courageous and always saving little boys. I have a tattoo of her name on my hand.

Who are the gay guys in your video?
Seth is the dark-haired one, and he has a band called Hunx and his Punx. And the blond is his boyfriend. When I hear him sing, I borrow from it the sassy nasal tones. In that video, those are the people we spend the most time with, our best friends.

Supposedly there's an erect penis in the XXX version of the video, but I can't really see it.
I've seen the raw footage. It could've been much racier.

What's your favorite kind of sex?
During the day, maybe a little drunk but not wasted. And I would want to feel privileged to be with the person I was with, to love and respect them. I would want it to be fun and memorable. In my bedroom. I have these wonderful curtains that I made, all these different stripes and colors.

So what do I call you, Chris? Post-gay?
I really don't know myself. I think that I'm interested in like, real feelings, real love. I'm very romantic and I'm happy to fall in love with a man or woman, I don't really care. I've just had a hard time either way.

What's your type?
I like masculine men that aren't bears. Have you seen pictures of young Gore Vidal? He's wearing man's clothes and talking in a man's voice but he's looking you up and down. I imagine I would've liked Christopher Isherwood, too. I like Owen Wilson.

What about women?
This is a bit weird and awkward, but I like them to have some of the traits of my memories of my mother. Beautiful and feminine and vulnerable but independent and strong and crazy enough to be adventurous. I love long hair on girls.

Okay. So finally -- are you OK with the drugs?
I know that I have a weakness for opiates and I know that's dangerous. I've gone through just about every drug in the book and I'm not interested in my heart rate going up and feeling anxious, but I do enjoy feeling incredibly relaxed, and that's something that's difficult for me. I like heavy downers. But I'm a smart, sensible person and I also think that I am pretty much all I've got right now, so I look after myself. I know when I'm taking too much and I watch it. Today is my day off in New York and I'm not going to use any.

Well, drugs have kicked my ass at times. Have you thought of just not taking them at all?
Yeah, eventually. I wanna have children. I'd love to have a little girl. I'd like to give her love and affection and give her the best. We'd go to the movies and get some ice cream and go shopping and maybe I'd let her carry a balloon while we go shopping. We'd go to the park and she'd wear little dresses and come to my concerts. I always think of this time when I'll be different and have a haircut and not be smoking cigarettes or thinking too much or taking drugs. And that is something I want but right now I'm in this lifestyle and it's difficult to get out. I'm in a rut, as far as with the drugs.

Well, I think you're very lovely and I would be happy for you if you got out of it.
You're right, and I know, and that is the plan. Oh, do you want to know something neat? I was a handpicked extra in the Milk movie. I met Gus Van Sant, he asked me what I did and then he asked me. I said yes, of course. If you watch the movie, I made it for five seconds on the steps of City Hall, booing [the homophobe]. I'm wearing all denim and I was incredibly hung over. I told Gus, "I'm a huge fan of My Own Private Idaho. I have a personal connection with River Phoenix, he grew up in the same cult as I did."

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