Kathy Griffin Gets Literary
By Noah Michelson
Whose celebrity memoir is more D-list -- yours or Janice Dickinson�s?
I would say absolutely mine. Janice had like sex with Mick Jagger -- I had sex with Jack Black. If that isn�t the A-list to the D-list, I don�t know what is. I mean, Janice went to Studio 54 and she was on the cover of Vogue 17 million times. I was on the cover of a magazine called Double Down, which was a poker magazine. So I�d have to say mine was more D-list -- as usual.
Right now we have Lady Gaga on the cover of our September issue. What's your take on all the hermaphrodite rumors swirling around her? Do you think she�s a man? A woman? Neither? Both?
I think that if she�s smart, she�ll say she�s both. By the way, I�d like to break this news to you that I have a penis as well as a vagina. Unfortunately coming from me, it�s not that much of a reveal, but it can only broaden her demographic.
And mine! If I could, instead of my plastic surgery photos, I would have printed a photo of my vagina-slash-penis. That would really get me readers. Oh -- and I want to go on record and say I�m a top, in case anybody�s asking.
On the latest season of My Life On The D-List you were dubbed �Norma Gay� and you had some political moments -- your tribute to Matthew Shepard and your activism around gay marriage. Do you see your day-to-day life as political?
It is, because I�m on tour all the time, I go do shows in the Bible Belt and I can�t tell you how many people -- believe it or not, even in this day and age -- have come up to me after a show and said, �Wow. I�ve never been surrounded by so many gay people,� or when I shout �Where are my gays at?� some of the gays are sitting next to straight guys who�ve been dragged there by their wives and it�s always positive. I�ve had some redneck guys be like, �Man! I�ve never seen so many gay people at once!� but I�ve never had anyone complain about it or use the F word. So in my own little way, while I�m burning bridges in Hollywood [laughs], I�m trying to build bridges in the gay community -- one dick joke at a time.
You�ve done movies, TV, you�ve had a Grammy-nominated album, you were on The Celebrity Mole, now you�ve got a book -- what do you still want to accomplish?
I�d like to do a sex tape with Ryan Seacrest. I don�t know if I�m his type, if you know what I�m saying.
Well, you mentioned you�re a top and I think there�s a good chance he�s a bottom --
[Laughs.] I was going to say that I probably have about as much of a chance with him as I do with Lance Bass because God knows I�ve been trying to get him in the sack for 10 fucking years! He is a tough cookie. He�s always surrounded by Brazilian male models.
I saw Lance a few weeks ago in Chelsea with something very hunky.
He has the pick of the litter. I�ve seen them all come, and I�ve seen them all go.
Kathy Griffin's Official Book Club Selection is now in stores. For all the latest Kathy news, including tour dates and book signings,
check out her website.