Live To Tell-All
By Noah Michelson
What does the future hold for you and Madonna?
In a weird way we are speaking to each other through my father. We�re not speaking to each other, obviously, directly, but I talk to him and she talks to him and he talks to me and then he talks to her and there�s a funny conversation going on in a really roundabout way.
Do you think she�s read it?
I�d be shocked if she hasn�t. If I was her, I�d want to know. On the other hand, she�s just distant enough in her own little bubble to only hear what people are telling her. And they�re telling her what she wants to hear. So I guess it�s possible that she still hasn�t read it. The worst that I�ve done is make her human and I think in a lot of ways it�s the best thing I could have done. I got plenty of emails from her fans when the media first found out I had written the book and they went on and on about how awful I was and �how dare I?� And I also got emails from friends who told me to �tear the bitch apart.� And everyone was speculating on the content. And then when the book came out, the same people -- strangers from Facebook and MySpace -- all had read it and all wrote me back to apologize. The connection that they�ve been making is with their brothers and sisters. They�ve gotten the family thing. They haven�t latched onto the fame and the famous people stuff -- that�s frosting for them. In fact, I got an email the other day from someone who said, �I just read your book and I put the book down and I went and called my sister who I hadn�t talked to in three years.� Oddly enough it�s bringing people closer to their families. Nine out of 10 emails are about that.
Are you still getting the nasty emails?
No. Nothing. I got one weeks ago but it was obviously written by a crazy guy. It�s all been really positive. Not that I require that vindication -- I don�t. I�m perfectly happy with the way the book came out. But it�s cool that people are finding a connection to it on that level.
If you got a call from Madonna tomorrow and she said �I read it. I understand. I�m not angry. Come see me when the tour opens in August,� would you go?
I�d meet her in a public place. [Laughs]
Yeah. Only in public. I�d go. Absolutely. I love my sister -- that�s not going to change. This isn�t a book that was written by somebody who hates his sister. It just isn�t. If you�re reading that into it, you�re a crazy person. That�s what you want to hear. I mean, you read it -- did it seem like that to you?
No. I just kept waiting for you to reveal the whereabouts of the Michael Jackson love child.
No! [Laughs] The way someone described it to me was there�s no body buried in the backyard, there�s just lots of little bodies. Lots of smoking guns, not one big one. And that impact is how life works. There isn�t one massive explosion -- a lot of little things creep up and cause pain or happiness.
Please tell me you saved something juicy that didn�t make it into the book specifically for Out readers.
There are certain stories that don�t end the way that they end in the book. It�s not really family stuff. It�s more like -- well there�s a bit in the book about Demi Moore and I dancing on the bar --
And the paparazzi got a picture of you --
Yeah -- and she�s dancing up on me and humping me from behind. The one part that�s not in the book is that she was lactating at the time and she was squirting breast milk at my lesbian friends. My friend Michelle called me the next morning and asked me, �How do I get breast milk out of my black dress?� and I said �How the fuck would I know? Call Demi.� It was hysterical. There are no pictures of it but it actually happened. The lawyers didn�t think it was wise for me to print that -- so there�s your juicy tidbit.