1. Who's your childhood crush?
Erik Estrada on CHiPs. There's nothing hotter than a toothy Latino packed into motorcycle cop pants two sizes too small!
2. Who will play you in the film version of your life story?
They'd better find someone who looks just like me. If Jessica Alba is not available, I guess Bruce Vilanch will do.
3. What will it say on your tombstone?
I may be dead, but my cold sore lives on!
4. What's the thing you most urgently need to tell your mother?
That horizontal stripes are not her friend.
5. What's the most overrated virtue?
6. What's the perfect song to have sex to?
The theme from Sesame Street. Oops, am I in trouble?
7. What do you hide when your parents come over?
The hundreds of newspaper clippings about those serial killings I had absolutely nothing to do with!
8. What's your most regretted fashion choice?
I used to go to Rage in the late '80s wearing a dress shirt with French cuffs, vintage cuff links, a beautiful silk tie, horn-rimmed glasses, shoes with dress socks held up by antique sock garters-and just boxer shorts. It looked like I left the house without my pants.
9. What do you do when you're most stressed out?
Yoga. Kidding! I eat like a fucking pig while sobbing and screaming at God, Why me?
Jackie Beat is a New York City-based drag performer and the lead singer of electroclash band Dirty Sanchez.