Entertainment
CONTACTStaffCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
My mother was pregnant with my brother John, so that makes it 1952 and Im 6 years old. We were living at the Servel Place on Tyhee Road, 12 miles out of Pocatello. My father had just hired a new hand.
His name was Neil Haverman. Neil had just gotten out of the Navy, and everything about him said sailor. His hair was dark blond and thick, cropped close around his ears, with a big old wave he combed into a pompadour with a black comb he kept in his left back pocket. From the left he combed the pompadour that he kept in place with VO5. Thats what he smelled like, VO5, and Mennen aftershave on Saturday nights when he took a bath in our bathroom.
This man was amazing. So unlike my father. My father had black hair, and he never smelled of anything but how he smelled in the bathroom and sweat. My father hardly even looked at me, while Neil, Neil Havermanhe looked his blue eyes right into mine to see who was living in here. Neil had been all over the world. My father had never left Idaho. Plus Neil liked to talk. It would be a good day if you got a grunt out of my father.
Neil told wondrous stories about being a sailor in Shanghai and Singapore. Everything about him was exotic. He told us once that hed eaten just about everything that was fit for human consumptionand even more. Another time he talked about eating deep-fried flying ants.
I asked him once if hed ever eaten a sweep steak, and that man laughed so hard I thought he was going to fall off the chair. My father never laughed like that, and certainly never at something I said.
Gray work shirt and gray khaki pants and a brown belt and a gray cap with a bill. Brown desert boots and in the winter big black lace-up boots. He stood shorter than my father, but stockier.
My father had moved a one-room house and poured a foundation just past the pump house, and thats where Neil lived. He ate breakfast, dinner, and supper with us. He always complimented my mother on how good she could cook, especially her pies and cakes. I think she was a little bit in love with him too.
The most wonderful thing about Neil Haverman was that he liked to play cards, and since nobody would play cards with him, he taught me how to play gin rummy. Those were the days before TV. I cant tell you how great it felt at night after Id finished my homework, to sit down with Neil and play gin rummy. I learned fast, and he even let me win a game every once in a while.
This next part that happenedsome of it I remember and some of it I dont. I was inside Neils housea place where I was forbidden to go. But I was 6 years old and I was in his house, and my hand was in his underwear drawer and I was smelling his shorts. I remember very particularly the pair of Hanes underwear size 34 and how they smelled like Moms White K soap and something more. I was holding those shorts up to my nose when I turned around to see Neil Haverman standing there. I dont remember what happened next. I remember that what he said made me very afraid. I think he threatened to tell my dad, but he never told.
After that day when I got caught smelling his underwear, Neil refused to look at me or talk to me or play gin rummy with me. I felt so lonely. And scared. Then somehow along the way I forgot about the underwear incident, and after supper one night I got out the playing cards. I shuffled the cards and set them on the table next to the beautiful blond hairs on Neils arm. Finally, I got the gumption up, and I asked him why he wouldnt play with me.
You know why, he said.
But I didnt know why.
Yet I did.
Some time after that, Neil asked to borrow Dads pickup to go out one Saturday night, and my Uncle Bob saw the pickup parked in front of the Five-Mile Inn in Chubbuck. My father was so pissed that Neil would park his pickup in front of a bar like that, and my dad said he was going to fire him.
I remember that day. I was so afraid. Any kind of confrontation made me want to throw up or go hide under my bed. Neil was out feeding hay in the feedlot. Dad walked out to the feedlot and I knew what was going to happen. I was afraid that they would fight, and then what would I do. I would have to defend my father, but Neil was the one I loved. My heart was in my throat.
Dad told me to finish Neils job, that he wanted to talk to Neil. I was far enough away to know they yelled back and forth. I didnt hear all of it, but what I did hear was Neil say what a good woman Mom was and how lucky Dad was to have her. Then Neil walked away fast, and as he walked, he walked past me. Just as he passed me, he said, Little queer.
And I didnt know what little queer meant.
Yet I did.
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
38 Male Celebs Who Did Full Frontal Scenes
November 17 2023 5:18 PM
These are all the celebrities Who came out as LGBTQ+ in 2023
December 31 2023 12:19 PM
These Pics Prove Maluma Has Always Been a Certified Daddy
October 20 2023 1:13 PM
32 LGBTQ+ Celebs You Can Follow on OnlyFans
October 25 2023 3:15 PM
26 actors who showed bare ass in movies & TV shows
February 28 2024 1:50 PM
16 Times Celebrity Men Had to Say They Weren't Gay
February 29 2024 1:19 PM
15 Unforgettable Gay Kissing Scenes From TV & Movies
February 14 2024 10:20 AM
13 Queens Who Quit or Retired From Drag After 'RuPaul's Drag Race'
November 24 2023 10:11 AM
40 steamy celebrity Calvin Klein ads we'll always be thirsty for
January 04 2024 10:54 AM
The 15 Best LGBTQ+ Movies of 2023
December 04 2023 10:32 AM
Watch Now: Advocate Channel
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Latest Stories
Meet the reality TV baddies competing on 'House of Villains' season 2
March 27 2024 3:48 PM
Meet Kristen Kish, the new out host of 'Top Chef'
March 27 2024 3:36 PM
24 albums that turn 10 years old in 2024
March 27 2024 2:43 PM
Breaking boundaries in gender-free fashion with Stuzo Clothing
March 27 2024 2:15 PM
Meet Phillip Davis, Johnny Sibilly's new BF who he just hard-launched
March 27 2024 12:49 PM
Meet Ricky & Cesar, 'Amazing Race 36's loveable gay underdog couple
March 27 2024 12:09 PM
March 27, 2024
March 27 2024 12:07 PM
Yvonne & Melissa weren't 'U-Haul lesbians' before 'Amazing Race 36'
March 27 2024 11:38 AM
Iconic comedy 'John Tucker Must Die' is getting a sequel, making Millennial gays very happy
March 27 2024 10:50 AM
'Barbie' star Hari Nef is starring in a biopic about this trans legend
March 26 2024 7:02 PM