Entertainment
CONTACTStaffCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
Last year was the first year I stumbled onto a pride parade. I was going to my monthly pancake party for my 2-year-old goddaughter who lives across town. Since 2-year-olds seem to have a window of sanity that lasts from roughly 7 A.M. to 7:25 A.M., I try to inflict all my godliness onto her during those fleeting moments.
No, it wasnt the first pride parade Ive ever seen. It was the first one I stumbled upon. As in I forgot to tell the cabbie to avoid crossing the park, and we wound up stalled in the flotilla of floats arriving at the parades starting point. I had no idea it was pride weekend. None at all.
True, I hadnt attended a pride event in at least five years. But somehow I always knew when pride was occurring. Which made me sort of wonder if I was somehow less proud. Less gay, even. For Gods sakeI was making pancakes for my goddaughter at the hour I used to be staggering home in pancake makeup.
At my first pride, I was a Log Cabin Republicans worst nightmare. I was the 30 seconds of perverted footage on the local news that preempted the other 12 hours of PFLAG grandmothers, lesbian parents, Episcopal priests, and other wholesome examples of gaiety. I marched down the center of Peachtree Street in Atlanta in seven-inch heels and little else. My more sober friends called me the mess in a dress.
Did I hurt the cause? Was I nonrepresentative? Hell, no. I represented all the freedom you could handle. And theres not a single gay person out there who can say they came out for any other reason than personal freedom. But as Donald Rumsfeld once said (yep, Im quoting Donald Rumsfeld), freedoms untidy. And the biggest responsibility that comes with freedom is allowing all others to have it too. Even the ones in spandex rainbow hot pants.
If I accomplished nothing else with my bewigged jigs, Id like to think there was at least one shy young sissy boy watching the evening news with his parents who thought, Wow. I can come out now. I sure as hell can put together a classier outfit than that.
Back then pride parades were my civic duty. I was illustrating to other gays the lengths of freedom one could go to without being arrested. The parades are not, as some assimilationists would prefer, meant to set a shining example for straights. Good God. Why would I want to be accepted as their equal? I spent the first 20 closeted years of my life undercover in their midst as their equal. I was the sheep who chose to paint himself black.
I dont know who inspires assimilationists. Who are they proud of? It doesnt take any sort of personal strength for a man not to walk down the street in a dress. I cant think of a single homo role model who didnt have to get a little messy sometimes. If your philosophy centers around disappearing into a crowd, its hard to make much of a dent in the world. So each time I hear GL people (the Bs and Ts never seem to be so uptight) gripe about the Dykes on Bikes and assless chaps, I encourage them to start their own assimilationist parades, with khakis and Toyota Corollas as far as the eye can see.
But what happened to me? When did I become more Mrs. Butterworth than mincing gutter filth? Like a good athlete, Im going to have to say that I bowed out when I reached my personal best in that particular contest. Id inspired my quota of closeted freaks to come out; it was time to pass the falsies.
So even though I dont fit into any of my old costumes, I resolve to spend this years pride weekend getting noticed in another way. Ill do missionary work. Pride weekend 2007 will find B. and me in a quiet town in rural upstate New York where we recently bought a small farm. And I promise you that well walk down the street in the nearby village holding hands. Itll be a short paradethe village is only a block longbut perhaps Ill tear a little hole in my back pocket to let some ass shine through.
The local newscast is dreadfully boring.
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
38 Male Celebs Who Did Full Frontal Scenes
November 17 2023 5:18 PM
These are all the celebrities Who came out as LGBTQ+ in 2023
December 31 2023 12:19 PM
26 actors who showed bare ass in movies & TV shows
February 28 2024 1:50 PM
16 times male celebrities had to say they weren't gay
April 17 2024 11:57 AM
21 LGBTQ+ reality dating shows & where to watch them
April 03 2024 4:01 PM
15 Unforgettable Gay Kissing Scenes From TV & Movies
February 14 2024 10:20 AM
14 queens who quit or retired from drag after 'RuPaul's Drag Race'
April 04 2024 12:56 PM
40 steamy celebrity Calvin Klein ads we'll always be thirsty for
January 04 2024 10:54 AM
The 15 Best LGBTQ+ Movies of 2023
December 04 2023 10:32 AM
Watch Now: Advocate Channel
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Latest Stories
How Todrick Hall is giving back to the community
April 17 2024 8:35 PM
Here's who 'Drag Race' fans on social media want to see win season 16
April 17 2024 5:05 PM
Andy Cohen responds to all the recent Bravo & 'Housewives' chaos as more ensues
April 17 2024 3:56 PM
Not just JoJo Siwa: 30 songs made for an artist & released by another
April 17 2024 3:16 PM
How The Pride Store celebrates National Tea Day: A tale of two brews
April 17 2024 2:14 PM
Here's why Netflix's 'Baby Reindeer' is our new twisted queer obsession
April 17 2024 12:17 PM
April 17, 2024
April 17 2024 11:50 AM
Troye Sivan & Charli XCX are teaming up for the gayest tour ever
April 17 2024 11:43 AM
Kennedy Davenport finally explains the rumored 'All Stars 3' drama with Trixie Mattel
April 16 2024 4:16 PM
Watch the queens from 'Drag Race Live' hilariously reveal Out's RuPaul cover
April 16 2024 4:10 PM
Noah Beck claps back at people who assumed he's gay for hugging a male friend
April 16 2024 4:03 PM