CONTACTStaffCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
If James Bond were gay in the pre-Stonewall era, he would have moved through high international circles of espionage and diplomacy while keeping his sexuality a well-protected secret. Still, his exacting tastes would have signaled to other gay men a sensibility indecipherable to the straight world. Automotively speaking, then, he would have driven not the perfectly lusty and luxe Aston Martin of his cinematic heterosexual incarnation but the now-legendary, heart-stoppingly evolved Mercedes 300 SL Gullwing.
Not only was the Gullwing throbbingly sexy, but it was truly original. It was transportation to the future. The car doors were an inspired flourish (think Bernini) that alluded to something like liftoff. (Its a bird; its a plane; its James Bond.) The gay Mr. Bond would have chosen this vehicle not merely for its meticulous engineering and reliability but for its magical realism. It would be for him a sublime calling card, a pleasure machine, a joyride, an object of desire, the closest thing to sex that wasnt sex itself. With no superfluous line in its airtight, muscular body, the cross-hatch (six-pack?) vents on either side of the car exude sheer thrust. Imagine the entrance Mr. Bond would have made in a silver Gullwing: the doors rising to full-flight capacity before his effortless ascent out of the red leather cockpit; a few tugs on his black tuxedo jacket as he might scan the crowd, reach for his cigarette case, and light up.
Of course, things are different today. Mr. Bond of the 21st century would be openly gay, and he would use his health-conscious animal magnetism to attract, repel, humble, or shame his adversaries. Powerful, hungry, practical, and urbane, this all-purpose, hard-driving adult would have little regard for low-to-the-ground, adolescent-fantasy sports cars.
With the end of the clear-cut Cold War villains, international terrorism in the era of global warming creates a new set of challenges. Our gay secret agent needs a substantial
vehicle to protect him as well as to navigate any landscape, endure the elements, and take a rough workout off the road as well as on. His green consciousness is weighed against no-nonsense logic and, of course, aesthetics. (After all, Bonds priority remains saving entire populations from disasterwhich may require some compromises with any environmentalist impulses he might have.) The choice for him would be a black Range Rover Sportrugged, lithe, and, most unusual for an SUV, sportif. The gay Mr. Bond, whose sensibility is attuned to just such worldly refinement, would opt for the more environmentally economic Sport over its larger sibling, being riveted not only to its precision-cut lines and tailored silhouette but its smoldering, understated gravitas.
Inside, the cabin is leather-bound chic, like a sleek, lap-of-luxury hotel room. Just where you want to be with this Mr. Bond, the bon vivant with serious savoir faire. And to think that with the flick of a switch, the backseats in his Range Rover Sport convert, full
throttle, into a double bed as the windows darken. Ever resourceful and shamelessly smooth, Mr. Bond was never one to pass up the opportunity for fun-loving car(nal) relief.
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
38 Male Celebs Who Did Full Frontal Scenes
November 17 2023 5:18 PM
These are all the celebrities Who came out as LGBTQ+ in 2023
December 31 2023 12:19 PM
These Pics Prove Maluma Has Always Been a Certified Daddy
October 20 2023 1:13 PM
32 LGBTQ+ Celebs You Can Follow on OnlyFans
October 25 2023 3:15 PM
26 actors who showed bare ass in movies & TV shows
February 28 2024 1:50 PM
16 Times Celebrity Men Had to Say They Weren't Gay
February 29 2024 1:19 PM
15 Unforgettable Gay Kissing Scenes From TV & Movies
February 14 2024 10:20 AM
13 Queens Who Quit or Retired From Drag After 'RuPaul's Drag Race'
November 24 2023 10:11 AM
40 steamy celebrity Calvin Klein ads we'll always be thirsty for
January 04 2024 10:54 AM
The 15 Best LGBTQ+ Movies of 2023
December 04 2023 10:32 AM
Watch Now: Advocate Channel
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Latest Stories
March 27, 2024
23h
Iconic comedy 'John Tucker Must Die' is getting a sequel, making Millennial gays very happy
March 27 2024 10:50 AM
'Barbie' star Hari Nef is starring in a biopic about this trans legend
March 26 2024 7:02 PM
Alert! Lady Gaga just gave us the most substantial update on LG7 to date!
March 26 2024 4:31 PM
Find your perfect fit with gender-inclusive fashion from The Pride Store
March 26 2024 2:16 PM
The queer stars of Universal Television stun in spring menswear
March 26 2024 1:58 PM
With 'Hello Again,' Tig Notaro knows she's a role model for queer women
March 26 2024 12:48 PM
The ball's in Zendaya's court in this horny new 'Challengers' clip
March 26 2024 12:35 PM
'Scott Pilgrim's Satya Bhabha knows queer visibility starts on set
March 26 2024 12:00 PM
Joel Kim Booster talks 'Loot' & kissing his boyfriend on red carpets
March 26 2024 12:00 PM
'Chicago Fire's Daniel Kyri talks the 'joy' of playing an out hero on TV
March 26 2024 12:00 PM