Smart Alec

9.24.2006

By Jeffrey Epstein

What's been your weirdest fan encounter?
This summer in Palm Springs a 500-pound naked man told me he loved me on Entourage. And then he peed on me.

How Hot 'n' Wet!
Oh! And someone was impersonating me on MySpace! Which at first was a little flattering, but then I looked at the comments and found out he'd been corresponding with actual friends of mine for, like, six months! This person was also leaving all these cruisey messages on other people's pages like 'You're hot!' and 'Come on over!' and I then had to explain to my husband that it wasn't me. I still don't think he entirely believes me. I have a new MySpace page now and it's really me. Come on over!

Anything else coming up we should be looking out for?
I'm guest starring on Ted Danson's new sitcom, Help Me Help You. One of the series regular characters played by Jim Rash is an uptight, closeted homo who tries to get me fired at work because he's freaked out about me being out, unashamed, and the most popular gay at work. It's my life story. Also I'm in an indie called Dirty Laundry starring Loretta Devine, Rockmand Dubar (from Prison Break), and Jenifer Lewis. It was a big hit at Outfest, and I think it comes out next year.

Let's do a little free-word association. Tell me the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the following:

George W. Bush.
Damnation.

Lance Bass.
Albino girlfriend.

The Atkins Diet.
Constipation.

Gay porn.
Out magazine.

Hey, that's not nice' Out magazine.
Gay porn.

Much better. And we hear you'll be cohosting the big Kingdom party with Wilson Cruz during the Gay Days at Disneyland. Have you always loved Disney?
Fairies, boys who never grow up, evil queens, and princesses waiting for their prince to come'what's not to love?

In the battle of the out actors, who would win, you or Wilson?
Wilson Cruz would kick my ass. I'm a lover, not a fighter.

An Evening With Alec Mapa will be performed at the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center's Renberg Theater Friday and Saturday, September 29 and 30 at 8 p.m. Tickets are $20, and are available online at www.lagaycenter.org/boxoffice, or call (323) 860-7300.

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