Into the Wild


By Jeffrey Epstein

I am walking alongside dozens of young men and women who are carrying coolers and beer bongs to an area on South Padre Island, Texas, called 'Coca-Cola Beach''a stretch of sand that the soda giant clearly wants a slice of, and no wonder: The sun is starting to poke through, prompting any number of guys along the way to take off their shirts. There's so much Abercrombie and American Eagle on display I wonder if these companies are also sponsoring spring break. Ground zero, the place is mobbed with college-age students listening to music and sunning'but mostly drinking. A lot. Also on display at the beach are recruitment areas for the National Guard and the U.S. Navy. I am in my own personal hell.

Mantra Entertainment, the multimillion-dollar company behind the Girls Gone Wild and Guys Gone Wild DVDs'featuring (mostly) hot college-age people exposing themselves in a variety of settings'has set me up as 'security' for the female Guys crew. Although I am skeptical that guys performing dick tricks would believe I could kick their asses, the opportunity to witness dozens of hotties stripping is too hard to pass up.

At Coca-Cola Beach we meet up with Rachel and Isabelle (not their real names), the Guys Gone Wild camera girls on assignment for three weeks on South Padre. Both girls are gorgeous, fearless, and disarmingly teasing. Within minutes they are walking up to random hotties on the beach and starting up conversations. Rachel struts up to a buff boy with a green baseball cap and taps him on the ass. He turns around. 'Hi,' she says with a smile. 'I'm Rachel.' This scenario plays out in several ways, usually leading to the ladies saying something like, 'Have you ever heard of Girls Gone Wild? Well, we're GUYS Gone Wild!' or 'We're doing sort of a documentary''

More often than not, the guys do an interview for the camera. Since we are on a beach in public, they only take their shirts off, talk a bit, and flex for the lens. Sounds sexy, right? The earsplitting music and the combined stench of omnipresent Porta Pottis and body odor suck the sexiness right out of the scene.