Gays In Space! | Out Magazine

Gays In Space!

Gays In Space!

Brazilian and Japanese astronauts have achieved liftoff but as far as we know the LGBT community hasnt launched anyone into orbit. Out believes that NASA should rectify this omission because you dont need a Hubble Space Telescope to see the benefits of having the gays in outer space.

1. First Contact will be made when a queer astronaut asks How bigs your pocket rocket? and an extraterrestrial answers Which one?

2. Earth is saved from alien invasion because the gays dont trust Martians after they claim not to have any current shirtless pics.

3. Intergalactic Warp Drive is developed when gays discover how to travel faster than the speed of unflattering light.

4. In zero gravity, you can immediately double your benchpress.

5. In outer space its possible to tan 24/7.

6. The rings of Saturn will inspire the gays to start piercing the moon and other planets.

7. The ionosphere becomes a trendy neighborhood (IoHo) when gays fix up old Russian space stations.

8. Drag queens in outer space will be able to say Darling, Ive set my phaser to stunning!

9. Gay astronauts accidentally beam all red state Americans to red planet Mars.

10. Thankfully, by the time news of your escapades on Alpha Centauri reaches Earth, everyone you know will be dead.

11. In space, no one can hear you scream, shriek, or emit other embarrassing unmanly noises.

12. Unlike most astronauts, the gays enjoy being swallowed by black holes.

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