Gays In Space!

7.10.2006

By Out.com Editors

Brazilian and Japanese astronauts have achieved liftoff but as far as we know the LGBT community hasn't launched anyone into orbit. Out believes that NASA should rectify this omission because you don't need a Hubble Space Telescope to see the benefits of having the gays in outer space.

1. 'First Contact' will be made when a queer astronaut asks 'How big's your pocket rocket?' and an extraterrestrial answers 'Which one?'

2. Earth is saved from alien invasion because the gays don't trust Martians after they claim not to have any current shirtless pics.

3. Intergalactic Warp Drive is developed when gays discover how to travel faster than the speed of unflattering light.

4. In zero gravity, you can immediately double your benchpress.

5. In outer space it's possible to tan 24/7.

6. The rings of Saturn will inspire the gays to start 'piercing' the moon and other planets.

7. The ionosphere becomes a trendy neighborhood (IoHo) when gays fix up old Russian space stations.

8. Drag queens in outer space will be able to say 'Darling, I've set my phaser to stunning!'

9. Gay astronauts 'accidentally' beam all red state Americans to red planet Mars.

10. Thankfully, by the time news of your escapades on Alpha Centauri reaches Earth, everyone you know will be dead.

11. In space, no one can hear you scream, shriek, or emit other embarrassing unmanly noises.

12. Unlike most astronauts, the gays enjoy being swallowed by black holes.

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